Saturday, June 27, 2009


I am so excited to be going to Texas for a week!! I was looking forward to being in Oklahoma this summer, doing my own thing, but it turns out that I have been really bored...I love my job, but it only takes up 2-3 days a week. I need another job so badly but no one is hiring in the middle of the summer. Although I really have done nothing of any worth this summer at all to take a break from but for some reason the idea of being 'home' gives me a sense of ease. I have always truly been a person who dwells on the whole "grass is greener on the other side" so I'm sure after a few days I will want to be back here, but for now I am excited!

I am on new medicine that is making me feel and act a little weird. It has been harder for me to be patient and just overall joyful. I am working really hard on trying to not let it effect me and let me joy come from a Greater Place but thus far it hasn't been too successful. I don't have many friends here in OKC so that makes it harder to not really have a support group. I guess seeing familiar faces sounds really exciting to me right now. I feel like my life is in some kind of limbo between being in school and graduating, engagement and marriage, succeeding in the business or just being a house mom. It's like one big teeter totter going back and forth and I guess the idea of being home around things that are and have been constant in my life gives me a little more stability!

On a brighter note, I have my little sister Chanlar with me this week and it has been a lot of fun and a lot of work! Along the same theme of being in limbo, I feel like a 5 year old is definitely experiencing life stuck between two strong forces, toddler and kid. I can definitely relate to her! She so badly wants to be so well behaved and is most of the time, but every once in a while her remnants of toddler kick in and curiousity is stronger than her will to do what she knows is right! She is by no means a bad kid at all but it is interesting to watch. In a way, I am sort of spending this week with a living, breathing metaphor of my life. God is funny that way.

Well, better start packing! Texas in T-minus...27 hours!

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