You wanna know the truth...

I am really bad at updating this mainly because I don't have anything to say. Nothing is going on in my life. Absolutely nothing. I have graduated from student to average american adult with a lame job that isn't fulfilling. My life officially has no purpose. I am trying to stay positive and look at things with a broader view but it's not working. I can't just "have a better attitude." There isn't a better attitude switch anywhere. I feel like I would just be lying to myself.

I guess the real reason I haven't written in so long is not because I don't have anything to say. I don't have anything positive to say which has led me to the conclusion that blogs are pointless. It isn't an online journal of your thoughts. Bull. It is an online public proclamation how of happy and wonderful you can make everyone else think your life is. Because let's be honest, who wants to read a blog full of complaining or negativity?

 So what brings me here today? Why am I choosing to be "that guy" that writes depressing, emo posts that no one reads anyway? Well, the truth is I don't have anyone else to talk to. I have no friends here. I really don't have many friends period. I know there are people who would be there for me but they have so much on their plate anyway that they don't need to hear my problems OR the people I have that I could talk to would say "Aww Chelcy, it's ok. It will get better. Just have a better attitude." Well I don't need to hear that. It hasn't gotten better, it doesn't look promising and now because of that, how can I just HAVE a better attitude. People don't just HAVE things. The ones lucky enough to JUST HAVE things take them for granted anyway. I am so tired of trying so hard. Can something fall in my lap just once, please?

I am so lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful husband. I can truly say that. But honestly, all we do is bicker these days and I know it's mostly my fault for being so negative. I would bicker with me to if I had to live with myself. I am just screwing up left and right and I am completely unmotivated, bored, tired, lonely and overall, if you wanna know the truth, I am completely unhappy.

So until I have something nice to say, I am not going to say anything at all... see you when I have something good to report.

The Reason I Sing

I have recently discovered this new Christian artist whom I LOVE! His name is Jimmy Needham. I love his style, his voice, his lyrics, his heart, his message and I could go on and on! This song especially speaks to me because it has a message that has always been really important in my life and happens to follow one of my favorite verses Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, do it full-heartedly unto the Lord and not unto men."  This not only is applicable for performing but also important to remember in everyday tasks in life and something I have often lost sight of lately in both aspects of my life. 


If it’s just to top a song chart 
To feed the kids and get a bigger car 
The sky’s already got enough stars
And they all sing Your name
And if I’m here to write a number one
To get a gold or maybe platinum
 Make me a singer who is unsung
'Cause You won’t share Your fame 


'Cause even accolades some day will fade away
Just like me
Yes, everything but You 
Many years from now it won’t matter how
Why I write the rhymes I do
Help me get back to the reason I sing for You


I’m always looking for the limelight
To dim the house and make the stages bright
Compared to You I’m just a nightlight
Against the blazing Sun
I enter rooms and hope they notice me
To fill my social insecurities
I’m asking is there any hope for me?
'Cause there’s only room here for one 


Why are we so convinced a bigger audience
Is simply common sense to have? 
Maybe success is measured best by nothing less than our obedience 


So if I'm destined for a small stage 
The small crowds and the small pay
And maybe even in a small way
I can bring You fame 

'Cause even accolades some day will fade away

Just like me

Yes, everything but You 

Many years from now it won’t matter how

Why I write the rhymes I do

Help me get back to the reason I sing for You

Listen to the song

Check him out! He is amazing. He has 3 albums out and you should buy them all. Friend him on facebook! He is really nice and always has really uplifting statuses! 

Click for his website!

Going cRaZy!

Ok folks...well...whoever reads this....I dont think anyone actually reads this but to WHOMEVER it may concern, I have an announcement....

I AM GOING CRAZY!!!

I am always cooped up in this apartment or at work doing what I semi love to do half of the time. It's like there is some kind of magnet hidden in these 80 year old walls that is keeping me sitting on my butt all day. Or maybe I won't blame my lackadaisical attitude on ancient architecture and just say that I am having a hard time motivating myself. I know I can take Mellie out or CLEAN  or go on a walk or work on this or that or a countless list of a million other things but I simply can't make myself do it. I don't know what my problem is but I am in a slump. I don't have any friends here to just be there for me or help motivate me. Basically I am just whining right now but I am so frustrated and yes so unmotivated to do anything about it! Is there a medicinal remedy for this? If so, someone please send it my way. I shouldn't be too hard to find. I am probably just sitting on my couch or at the kitchen table in my tiny, tiny apartment......If you have trouble just listen for my dogs ear piercingly ANNOYING bark, and you will surely find me! 

2 months and all's well

Today Ben and I have been married for two months! Yippee! And in a month and 2 days we will have been together for 6 years! HOLY COW! I can't even believe that. Ahh the good ol' days when we were only a blissful 16 years old, now 22 almost 23 with a dog, cat, rent and bills. Luckily marriage is still like an extended sleep over. I am not quite sick of him yet... ; ) Hopefully we got all of that out of our system the first 5 years of being together although I know, I know... living together is different and etc. We have had some good practice years. I will admit however that when we do get into an argument it is a little funny trying to get away from each other in our less than 400 sq. ft apartment. Sometimes I will lock myself in the bathroom...the term lock used loosely seeing as our bathroom door hardly closes, much less locks. If not the bathroom I will hide under the covers in a bedroom with doors that has windows....not very successful getting away. Luckily, we don't do that very often : )

Our First Picture

Almost 6 years later...

The pets are are doing....better...kind of. It is day to day with them. Somedays Mellie will be calm and and Lily will not be in the mood for a sister then the next day it's completely opposite. We have a pretty good system working though where we can keep them in separate rooms and neither is too unhappy. That aspect is a still a work in progress. They are sure cute though!

We are trying so hard!

Mellie loves going to the park and playing with friends. That is of course unless we bring her ball. Then she could care less about any other creature, human or canine. She also loves to go for walks around the reservoir. We recently found a huge field that we are dying to take her to. There were about 100 geese in this field the other day and we let her run free! It was amazing how her instincts kicked in right away. We will be taking a trip there in the near future so she can actually chase the ball farther than 20 ft. Oh and...someone had a birthday. She is now a big 1 year old!!

I ruv my ball 

Lily is adjusting just fine to her new home. She still loves her little playhouse or as we call it Fort Lilyhammer! She also loves laying on this little platform that sticks out of the futon, laying in the sink, and FINALLY laying in her bed! Her favorite toys are still milk caps and twisty ties. She makes kitty entertainment pretty affordable, unlike her sister, who goes through a toy a day!

I ruv my bed!

I would say we are settling in just fine here in New England. It has taken us...is taking us some time to get used to people's personalities and the attitude difference of the Bostonian but we are getting more tolerant. Work is really hard somedays if we don't go in really positive. It is easy to be brought down by other people's unhappiness and relentless need to COMPLAIN. It really is exhausting! If we go in remembering everything great about our own lives, with a positive attitude to begin with, it is extremely bearable. It's especially hard to do when we are tired. We are just not accustomed to being treated disrespectfully by people we hardly know. At least southerners wait until they know you to start treating you like crap. I guess everything really does move at a faster pace up here.

ALSO, I started a website. It is www.chelcyharrell.com. On there I have started another blog but that one is more geared towards discussing artsy things. I call it my "artist blog" for lack of a better term. check it out!

The most exciting news in our lives is that we are about to have visitors!!! We are so excited for our family and friends to see where we live and what we do everyday!! Ben's family is coming next week, followed by my family over Labor Day weekend and my Maw Maw and Paw Paw for my birthday! This week a few friends are in town or passing through the area. In a few weeks as well Emily Grace is moving here for school. It will be so nice to have more people here that we know. We have about 2 friends here and as much as we love spending time with each other, we get lonely. We are an odd pair and aren't really fond of the party scene whereas most people we have met here are. I am thinking that when school starts for Ben we will start meeting more people like us.

I really miss my family! I never realized how much I saw them, even when I lived in Oklahoma, until they were so far out of my reach. My whole extended family has always been really close but because of a lot of things going on lately, not only people growing up and going different directions, but many factors have pulled us apart. It makes me kind of sad...I know deep down everyone really loves and cares for each other. Like any family though, we have our rough times.

To my family: I love you all so much! I appreciate everything you have done for me. Thanks for being my best friends and my support for the last (almost) 23 years! Growing up I never kept friends for very long because I was always switching schools or my friends moved away or we just grew apart. You were always there for me and I can't even thank you enough. Thanks for all of the memories. For all of the family parties, Thanksgivings at grandmas when we would play outside even though it was freezing because it was "in or out", for the Christmases where all the girls opened at the same time because we knew we got the same gift in differing colors, for the trips to New Orleans - the homeland, where all of us crazy people originated, for the wonderful meals: red beans and rice, brown gravy and rice, popcorn shrimp grandma would take out of the oil with her bare hands, spaghetti Lord knows how many times a week, cousins sports games and concerts, Holy Family, grandmas old house, Maw Maw's old house, Bubba, weird boyfriends and girlfriends that came and went, for making up weird songs and dances, for playing pretend, for being scared of the stuffed animals at Maw Maw's, for Maw Maw yelling at us for swinging on the banister of the stairs or sitting on the arm of furniture, for saying "Alright, alright, alright HOO" at the end of Happy Birthday, crawfish boils, washers, for grandma putting vaseline in our noses when we were sick, saying "so-and-so's opening!!", grandma stepping on cockroaches with her bare feet, kissing and hugging people the first time you meet them, Uncle Dicky saying "Peace be with you" at anytime not in church, all of the laughing and crying and fights and hugs, the holidays, and the many more memories to come, thank you! I love you so much!

Now come visit me!!!! : )

Beaches are for tanning not swimming

Not much new to report. We have had a bit of fun hanging out with some new and old friends. Our friend Matt, who got us the job on the Spirit, has been graciously inviting us along on some outings with him and some of his friends. This has been really great for us. We actually feel like we sort of just maybe might have some friends. Overall, Matty is just a wonderful person and has been so kind to us helping us get out of our apartment a little bit...

For his birthday we went to Friday's for lunch and to the beach in Gloucester. It was a blast. But unlike beaches in the South, these beaches are not for swimming. Well, not for me! Some crazy New Englanders seem to think so but I humbly disagree. It was still a blast. We took lots of pictures and took in some beautiful staple Massachusetts sites!

The water is so blue! Nothing like The Gulf

Lucky people that live right on this beach.

Ok....these seagulls are HUGE! You might not be able to tell from the picture but trust me on this.

Tons of snails!

So apparently if you sing a really low note to snails, they come out!

See!!

Silly boys

The one and only Matthew Johnson! Thanks for being a great friend! 

Matty and Jessica, our driver and navigator to the beach.

Lighthouse

Life in Boston

People are always joking about Southern Hospitality vs. Rude Northerners and other such stereotypes: slow-paced vs fast-paced, hot vs cold, disgusting excuse for tea vs delicious sweet tea etc.

Well I have always been one to say that stereotypes exist for a reason! They didn't come out of nowhere. They aren't always racist, or bias, or sexist or not PC they are REAL! Stereotypes are basically an sometimes exaggerated generalization of a certain thing or people. I am here as living proof to tell you that the stereotypes about northerners are based in actual living breathing FACT called "The Massholes." (I didn't make that up. They call themselves that here...really??)

First of all, giving yourself a title as The Massholes doesn't make it okay to be rude. You can't just excuse yourself for your behavior because you have an official title for it. That is lame. 

Now that that is off of my chest....

It has been really difficult adjusting to how people move and function up here north of the mason-dixon line. My family considers Shreveport "the north" so I am basically feel like I am in the North Pole. Overall, people are solely worried about only themselves. They are focused on furthering their agenda. It is like no one else exists and they are unaware that other people might have something going on in their life too. People we haven't even met will just flat out be rude and/or order us around like we are less than them. WHAT!?! It is very hard not to stoop down to their level and just complain all the time. It becomes extremely exhausting being around negativity so often. Maybe it's because it is so cold in the winters. I will admit that being cold puts me in a bad mood sometimes. Or maybe it's because they are used to cold and right now it is hot and that puts them in a bad mood. I think it has a lot to do with the lack of spirituality in this part of the country. People don't have anything to believe in that is larger than themselves. They have nothing to live for therefore there is no point to life. But really life is good! It is so sad that so many people in our world don't realize that. I know people all over the country complain and are negative but I have never seen so many unhappy people in my life. A friend of mine who has lived here for a few years  now really deals with it well and I envy his ability to blow it off. His philosophy is that their unhappiness shouldn't effect his life. There is no need for him to break a sweat over someone else's problems. They don't really dislike you, but they take it out on everyone. Just because someone yells at me, doesn't mean they don't like me. They don't like themselves and they have to take it out on someone. It makes sense but it is so hard. When someone is rude to me and speaks to me disrespectfully I don't take to it well. My immediate response is to fight back, which apparently is a waste of time here.

I guess I will learn but it will definitely take some time and some re-evaluating my way of thinking and approach to each day. I can't keep going on upset everyday because I am offended my people's internal problems that they are taking out on the world. I really struggle between letting it go and fighting back. I have a bit of a pride issue when it comes to people mistreating me. I think "They can't get away with talking to me like that!" But really, it's not a battle between me and them. That's the hard thing for me to grasp. Where I am from, people aren't rude to you unless you did something to them and if they are snappy without cause, a lot of times you will get an explanation or apology...

...what a funky new world we are in. 

On a slighty different note, we have been a little bummed lately because we are realizing how hard it is to pursue what we love and pay the bills at the same time. We don't want to be professional waiters but we also don't want to be professional homeless people...At least Ben will be submerged in music once school starts. I really need to find some kind of outlet and path to begin doing what I love again and hopefully making the transition of it being a hobby to being my life and means to pay bills! But for now a singing/cocktail waitress will have to do!

Oh...and I will admit: ONE place has really good sweet tea. Shawn took us to a barbeque place in cambridge called Redbones Barbeque. It was delicious! I wonder if they sell mass quantities of sweet tea? 

This is work! It really is a blast working here. 

New Chapter

So apparently I am really bad at updating this...

3 new important changes in my life

1. I graduated college!

2. I am now Mrs. Chelcy Harrell

3. My wonderful husband and I live in Boston, Massachusetts...well Brighton, but Boston sounds cooler.

WOW! So much to catch up on! Since I really don't feel like typing too much right now here are a few pictures to help tell the story! : )

Walking down the aisle with dad. So excited to see Ben for the first time that day! I missed him!

Sand/Unity Ceremony

Yes, yes we will!!

Muah!

Mr and Mrs Benjamin P Harrell

We did it!

I can't wait to get our pictures back

Yummy cake that I didn't eat...I have had dreams about this cake lol

1st dance! "Darling, je vous aime beaucoup"

Packing up the moving truck

Our trusty driver!

Me and Mel riding shotgun. She was a little drugged up...

Lil riding in the middle...she was really drugged up as well...

Thanks Massachusetts. But are you really welcoming...? Thats a whole different blog...

This took a week to unpack. Gross.

Kitchen

Bathroom

Mel and the futon!

Our lovely painting : )

Other side of the living room. The TV is now mounted on the wall.

Bedroom

Other side of the bedroom

So there we go!! A nice little photo tour of the new chapter in my life. It all still seems like a dream. It's hard to believe I am a married lady and living in Boston. So far this past month has been extremely enjoyable. Hopefully I will do a better job of keeping up with my blog, chronicling my new adventures!